FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
28 years ago I started High School as a scared timid Freshman at Frederick High School, the largest most diverse school in the county at the time. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing.
Starting a new job… Not knowing your co-workers, your boss, your parking spot, where to eat lunch, your exact job.
New Relationship… Will you get along after your first dispute? Is the chemistry there? Does your vision of the future align?
New Friend… Do you get along? Do they have your back? Do you both enjoy Fortnight? Are they ‘true’ friends or just there for the good times?
Moving to a new location… What Doctor or Dentist should we go to? Quickest route to school/work? Best local restaurants? Where do you get gas?
Unknowns can paralyze people and you are looking for someone, a friendly face, someone to wrap their arm around your shoulder and say, “Here let me show you… Come hang out with us…” This person or people that are welcoming when you are at a new place, they make you feel welcome and you forever are grateful.
Unknowns are scary and finding a welcoming person or group makes for lifelong friends.
On August 1st, 1990 I got up at 5am to go meet 12 guys that I’d never met before for our first golf practice for High School. I hadn’t even set foot in high school yet, but I was meeting 12 strangers and we had a common bond of sports, this sport was golf. That first day I was scared shitless, but over the next month every morning we would get up early and go practice together.
The guys on the team, especially the seniors took me under their wing. Not sure why, but they took a liking to me from the beginning. They would give me pointers in golf, and they would give me pointers for the upcoming school year in golf. They had been together for a few years, but they welcomed me like a little brother Matt, Jack, Jesse, Shane, Scott, Chris and all the guys were great.
The first day of school came and these brothers continued to ‘show me the ropes’ in school. They introduced me to friends, and then I had instant CREDIBILITY to the kids they introduced me to. “Ok he’s Matt’s friend, he’s Jesse’s friend, he’s Jack’s friend… then he must be alright.”
These guys 28 years later it might not have meant much to them, but it meant the world to me – a scared freshman- that they were welcoming and opened their arms and ‘had my back.’
Without them and their friendship I’m sure my Freshman year, especially that first semester would have been a nightmare, but knowing I had a group of buddies that had already been there, and done that who welcomed me was special.
As the kids go back to school today… Take a second to tell them to go up to that new kid and invite them to sit at lunch with you. To play with them on the playground. To introduce them to your friends.
Uncertainty can be paralyzing. Whether you start a new job, school, whatever it is, be that person that welcomes the newbie!
Here’s to new beginnings!
(Note: The above picture was my sophomore year as I was slowly becoming the ‘big brother’ and I remember taking a few kids Jeff and Brad under my belt just as ‘the boys’ took me under there belt. There is a sense to give back when others are so welcoming to you…)